Senin, 02 Januari 2017

A Habit

I have a habit to talk to my self either inside my mind or soundly, just like casual talk. The problem is, it is going out of control.

If i start to talk inside my mind continuously until my head is about to explode, i unconciously start to talk to my self soundly. At first i talk smooth and low sound, i look around if it's save to act like retarded creepy self talker. But lately i often talk spontaneously, without considering for safety and condition.

I start talking to my self soundly like i have actual convo with other people. In the middle of eating, or in the middle of reading, and even in the middle of real conversation with other people!

This is creeping me out!

Some other time, i caught my self mumbling in the middle of praying.

It is sooo embarrassing! No one caught me tho, but God did. I'm sooo embarrassed in front of Allah, that i dare to lose my sanity during praying and mumble to my self like some retarded creature.

Did i repeat my pray? Ofcourse i did.

Sooo ... In case i start to mumble to my self in the middle of praying subuh tomorrow, i decide to write it down and post it on my blog. (That is my blog is for, tho)

Because, right now my head is flooding with talks!

About what? Anything random.

And why am i writing in english? It is also because the sound in my head is also in english.
It is funny because it sounds in dialect. Depends on the last english convo i heard.

If i happen to be just watched Harry Potter movie, it will sound british. If i happen to be just watched Friends, it will sound American.

Last time i watched KUWTK clips for hours, and it sounds like one of them bwahahaha ....

Soo funny, but my english pronounciation improving smoothly thanks to the talk in my head.

Uum is there any other language?

Yep there is Arabic, and Indonesia and Jawa.

Indonesian language and Jawa language probably my original language of my mind talk. Soo i often hear my own sound, and dialect.

With Arabic language, it's pretty often, because i speak Arabic on a daily basis in school. And the sound that comes up in my head is ... My teacher sound, with their Arabic fusha dialect. Bwahahaha. If i start to talk soundly, i talk it out casually pretend to talk about the lesson we got in class. Soo not so weird.

It is actual weird, when i start to mumble in Korean or Japanese language. My friends will think i am crazy. But i can't stop ... Because my head is flooding with the word.

What i regret the most is ...
Why not Quran?

Why do not i flooded with Quran recitations in my head? Why don't i mumble unconciously, Quran words?

Why? Why? Why?

I guess because i don't hear it too much. I don't recite it too much.

Soo please, 2017 let me be insane with Quran mumbles this time. Let me hear Quran alot, read it alot and recite it alot.

Please ...

*Posting with blogger mobile app

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